went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize