Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
