you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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