Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...