U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.