So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!