She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i believe in u and ur pee
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?