Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.