The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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