i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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