I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
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Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
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We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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