You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
