In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
