I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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