He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?