He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.