To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.