i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
