the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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