Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They have beer where we have blood.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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