Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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