You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!