a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.