Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.