you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
