I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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