I feel like abortions should bother me more
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize