i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize