okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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