I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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