The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
