Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
