Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
