he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
