sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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