please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize