is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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