i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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