Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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