i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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