my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
