guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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