super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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