I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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