Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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