return my video game
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
