Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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