I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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