Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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