Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
