When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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