Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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