erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
