just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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