Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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