the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize