My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.