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You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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