Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked