Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize