do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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